looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
