butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
