nut hugger
you traded sex for a burrito?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
