East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
