I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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