It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
