I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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