Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
