Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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