We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
