I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
