She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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