Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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