At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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