dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
