You smell like a Billy Joel song
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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