The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
