it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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