WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
