Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i think i have herpe
just one?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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