If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
