would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
