I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
