My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
