I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We're too hungover to prance.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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