Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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