you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
