you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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