We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
