You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
