wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
