his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
FUCK WHALES
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