Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Say something about gay babies.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
