if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
third nipple confirmed
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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