i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
