Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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