So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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