there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
