I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
