when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
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