One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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