I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
