this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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