it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize