I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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