I need to stop coming to work sober
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
