Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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