btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
