Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
