i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
