I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have tasted many bathrooms
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
