She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
What a dumb baby whore.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
