I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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